On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a Partridge in a Pear Tree.
Now seriously, what good is that? Everyone knows that turkey goes much better than partridge for Christmas dinner!
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 2 Turtle Doves…
Now come on, if a Partridge is no use, then there is no chance two turtle doves will make the grade!
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 3 French Hens…
Okay, now we’re getting somewhere – at least you can eat chicken – shame it has to be French!
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